revision 2nd draft

I really need to focus on a lot of things to get my revision done. I need to be able to create a thesis and argue it with specific organized axes paragraphs.  my main problem i didn't have the correct
formatting. I really need to focus on how my arguments are organized and stuff. I need to correct a lot of run on sentences and errors. One of my other big problems was the citing my sources in my body paragraphs after the facts that I used.

feb 10(admn of justice)5-9pm

today we listened to our teacher go over the chapter of the week and a lot of people asked questions and i am still trying to get more comfortable with this class setting.. i talked to the teacher about signing my mentor agreement and we have agreed to do it..

time spent: 4 hrs
total time: 12hrs

feb 3. (admn of justice)5-9pm

I listened to yet another guest speaker that talked her stories about being on the job ... alot of it made me laugh .. because they were simply funny and it made me think all the negative things like all the stress about this job there is for sure a positive side to everything.

time spent: 4 hrs
total time: 8 hrs

jan 27 (5-9pm)

i sat in the classroom and listened to a guest speaker talk about his job and what he does.

time spent: 4 hrs
total time: 4 hrs

2nd draft paragraph

In my first paper i made everything mostly correctly. My mla formatting was a little bit off because when i went to put in the name, date, teacher i put it on the header which i figured out later on that it put it on all four pages of my outline. I had some grammer issues including capitalizing things and stuff. I need to just focus on thoses corrections and make it into a essay and i should be fine.